Drumming up new business - The Book-keepers Forum (UK)

kjmcculloch · Guru

Drumming up new business

Alison · Senior Member

Hi Kris

The letter looks good, but one thing with giving the 50% discount for the first month you may get companies abuse this by getting you to do the bookkeeping for the month at the discounted rate then not using you again when it increases, or were you planning on getting them to sign a contract for x months of bookkeeping to be able to take advantage of the 50% discount for first month.

Alison

kjmcculloch · Guru

Thanks Alison, thats a great point. So if I maybe made month 4 free, that would mean they're staying for 4 months at least?

Kris

Alison · Senior Member

Yes month 4 free would mean you would not get anyone taking advantage of the discount.

Just thought if companies don't want to pay much for their bookkeeping they find bookkeepers offering half price first month, use that bookkeeper then move on to the next bookkeeper who offering the same.

Alison

Shamus · Forum Moderator & Expert

Hi Kris,

few comments. As you highlight the bit at the top it's important that it's grammatically correct. (just beating Sheila to this!!!).

It should read

Are you sick of looking at piles of papers?

Would you rather be doing anything other than accounts?

Are you finding that you are constantly late with VAT returns?

Later in the text you state "How we can save you money" should read "If we can save you money".

Instead of "We never give an hourly rate" say "We don't quote an hourly rate".

At the bottom you state "We can still save you money" should read "We may still be able to save you money".

One should never make promises that may not materialise. For example, If you did my books you would't save me any money as I know what I'm doing but you would save me time that could be better spent bringing in revenue than doing paperwork.

Sorry that I've mentioned some things that I feel are amiss as overall I think that it's an excellent letter.

Hope that you find my comments constructive,

Shaun.

-- Edited by Shamus on Wednesday 28th of April 2010 09:59:45 AM

kjmcculloch · Guru

Thanks for your comments Shaun, they are very helpful.

Kris

Denise · Senior Member

Hi Kris,

I agree with Alison , you don' want to be giving them such a large discount at the beginning. I offered first 2 hours of bookkeeping free on Free Index site and was asked by someone who saw this ad to do his years bookkeeping and self assessment and was told "There isn't much. It will probably ony take a couple of hours". So he obviously thought he could get it done for nothing. Needless to say I told him where to go - in a nice way, of course lol.

I think the letter sounds really good but agree with the tweaks Shaun has suggested. What about for the 1st line - Are you sick at the sight of your piles of paper?

Good luck I think you are very brave giving up your job and I wish you all the best

Denise

P.S Congratulations to Alison!!

-- Edited by Denise on Wednesday 28th of April 2010 11:31:10 AM

Zoe · Senior Member

Hi Kris

To add to the comments already made, I would give them a deadline to call you by. For example, "call us by 31 May to receive 50% off your first months bookkeeping". This will urge people to act on the letter rather than to put it by for later.

Also, you have an 0845 number which some people mistake for a premium rate number and are hesitant to use. You might like to either use your local number (especially if this is going to your local area) or mention that is is a local rate call.

Kind regards

Zöe

Zoe · Senior Member

Kris

Just to add - do you already have a mailing list? Michrome is free to use and gives details of business start ups in the area. The data is three months old but may still be useful as this may be the point at which businesses realise bookkeeping is harder than they thought!

If you want more up to date data, you can also get it from this site but you do have to pay for it.

Kind regards

Zöe

Peasie · Expert

Zoe wrote:

Just to add - do you already have a mailing list? Michrome is free to use and gives details of business start ups in the area.

Won't be any use to him in Scotland.

Zoe · Senior Member

Peasie wrote:
Won't be any use to him in Scotland.

Their website says they cover the UK but have just checked and they don't cover Scotland yet but are due to soon. Might be worth another look in a couple of months time.

kjmcculloch · Guru

I did look at them before Zoe, and dropped them an email. It appears Scotland is no longer part of the UK as although they state they cover the UK they have no intentions in including Scotland in the near future.

Crazy

Kris

Zoe · Senior Member

Oh that seems silly! When I put in a Scottish postcode they said they would be covering that area soon. Sorry about that.

-- Edited by Zoe on Wednesday 28th of April 2010 02:41:30 PM

kjmcculloch · Guru

Not at all, even if it doesn't help me, I'm sure there are loads of people here it will help.

RuthA · Senior Member

It will help me, so thanks!!

Marky65 · Guru

Hi Kris

I think the letter looks and sounds good. And I agree with you about the PS, very important but only if it is relevant.

The only points I would make are don't be afraid to mix up your font sizes, use italics and use different colours to make parts stand out. I am not sure which font you have used but I have been told that Courier New (if using Word) works well, it is supposed to be friendlier on the eye.

Good luck with it

Regards

Mark

semsley · Guru

Shamus wrote:

Hi Kris,

few comments. As you highlight the bit at the top it's important that it's grammatically correct. (just beating Sheila to this!!!).

Shaun.

-- Edited by Shamus on Wednesday 28th of April 2010 09:59:45 AM

You'll generally beat me during the day as I don't have much time to keep up-to-date with this. Evenings are my time!!

attilabenko · Guru

Hi Kris,
I don,t know who your clients are but a lot of small business owners don,t know the difference between an accountant and a bookkeeper so I would think your PS should be more in the beginning of the letter (not as a PS). Spelling is very important ( I have an excuse i am a foreigner)as well as PS but only if people read your letter and i think this is the hardest to achieve. Those first 3 questions, well i am not sure if they work. If i get a letter with those sort of questions i stop reading but it's only my opinion. This is a hard question...
If you can afford you could make a couple of different letters maybe with references send out both type and see which worked for you more... I am in similar situation to you (planning to send out letters) and i had some studies once about institutional communication (how an institute should communicate to the public and to customers)and marketing what i never finished because i thought they are b...sh.t and they would be so useful now.. :(

Anyway please let me know how did your letter do, i am well interested.

Attila

-- Edited by attilabenko on Wednesday 28th of April 2010 07:10:34 PM

lor · Guru

I am having problems viewing this doc???? shame I wanted to see it!