Hello everyone i have been trying to write up a sales letter to get some cilents as i decided i would like to go it alone. Please have a look and tell me your honest opinions.
Dear Sir/Madam,
I would like to take this opportunity to introduce my business to you.
JSW Bookkeeping provides general bookkeeping services to sole traders and small businesses giving awareness of the current performance of the clients business, preparing for the tax return and viewing current creditors and debtors.
The services provided cover all aspects of bookkeeping from sales and purchase, bank reconciliations. Credit control and VAT returns, year end accounts prepared and provided including profit and loss statements.
The company can manage books manually or by a computerised system that include Sage and Excel.
All our services can be carried out at either your place of work or at my home address.
If you are using the services of an accountancy firm switching could save your company hundreds of pounds per year, which in the current climate makes a lot of sense.
The company has a current practising certificate of supervision and professional indemnity insurance.
If you would like any further information please call me to discuss your business needs on Home xxxxxxx, Mobile xxxxxxx
before I start replying, the letters not bad and hope that you receieve the comments in the constructive way in which they are intended.
a few points but like Kris I'm just on a flying visit at the moment.
The letter should be properly adressed to the relevant person rather than a mailshot.
The letter makes no reference to your professional status.
The letter makes no reference to previous experience.
The letter makes reference to a practicing certificate but does not say with whome. If the letter was to an accountancy practice then this means something but to joe bloggs off the street it means nothing where inclusion of the name of a professional body holds more weight.
Year end financial statements includes the P&L. There is no need to mention that seperately.
Rather than saying "The company can manage books manually or by a computerised system that include Sage and Excel".
I think that the line should be something like "We can processes your information in a manner to suit your requirements. This includes manual and computerised systems including where required expertise in Sage and Excel".
(That assumes that you are an expert in Sage and Excel).
Still not sure that line reads right but I think that it's more along the right lines.
"If you are using the services of an accountancy firm switching could save your company hundreds of pounds per year".
Is this true? I use a firm of Chartered Accountants for my limited companies final accounts and company tax return and it costs me £375 per year.
The IFAC rules of professional conduct, section 250 on Marketing professional services state that your advertising must be honest, legal, in good taste, should not make unfounded claims about the superiority of one's own services and must not be disparaiging of other practices.
You have to qualify statements like that rather than making outright claims that may be unsubstantiated and could, if a client moves to you put you in hot water when your fee's end up more than they were paying their accountant currently.
I would try to avoid use of the singular using words like "Our" rather than "My".
Ok, that's my two penneth, over to others to add their comments.
__________________
Shaun
Responses are not meant as a substitute for professional advice. Answers are intended as outline only the advice of a qualified professional with access to all relevant information should be sought before acting on any response given.
I don't mean to sound harsh, but I think you've approached your letter from completely the wrong direction. This is a common mistake with many small businesses and one I made myself. Bitter experience has taught me that telling people how wonderful you are and how you're qualified in this that and the next doesn't sell. Equally, not many businesses care that their books will be in perfect order, they just want to meet their legal requirements.
I would suggest that you try to identify, and then solve a problem that your client base might have. You need to start with a question, big and bold. This could be "Have you been stung by HMRC's new fines?" (obviously no good until people start racking up the fines), or "Did you pay your accountant too much?"
The things I have found which work are fear and money. The good sales letters either scare someone by suggesting they have legal requirements that they are not meeting (I'm sure I'm not the only one to get these for H&S) and the ones which suggest they're being ripped off and they can help save them money. Orderly accounts just aren't exciting enough.
Next you need to solve the problem you've posed. Tell your potential clients how you are their savior. They were in so much trouble, but luckily for them you're here to redress the balance.
In the next paragraph you need to spell out exactly what you need them to do. Don't let them decide for themselves, people are lazy. Tell them they need to phone you, or need to visit your site. Not only that tell them when, and give them an incentive, otherwise they may be interested and mean to contact you, but file your letter and forget about it.
Then you want to grab the people who may not need your services right now, but you don't want to forget about you. You need to give them a reason to contact you too. Perhaps some kind of gift to help them. A guide to improving their cashflow was one I used previously, but make it relevant to the rest of your letter. This allows you to develop warm leads.
The final thing is to sum the important points up in a short P.S. So for instance: P.S. Remember you only have until the 12th February to take advantage of our 40% off deal, call us today. And even if you don't need us right now, make sure you claim your free guide to improving your cash flow.
I would also not mention a home number, but rather a landline number.
This may not be what you were hoping for, but this improved my sales no end.
Thank you Shaun & Kris for your replies to this, you have given me something to think about. I know I have to be more active about getting my first client!
In your experience does direct marketing like this work? I was under the impression, rightly or wrongly, that it would be very difficult to get new clinets this way and that networking was far more efficient?
If you have had success and it does work please let me know and I will send out some targeted marketing as a trial.
I know that sometimes we're all guilty of wheeling out networking as a silver bullet, but I believe that we all need to use a cocktail of marketing methods.
I don't mean in a hit and hope way. Many people try cards in shops, then later might send letters out, then something else later. These same people generally don't know who they're targeting, they rarely have an idea of who their clients are. I've said it before, but a strategy will pay dividends. It's just a bit of joined up thinking.
It doesn't need to be complex, so for instance you are targeting small sole traders and come across an industrial estate with small units. Find out if they meet your target client by visiting each and introducing yourself. The aim is not to sell anything, just to let them know who you are, leave a business card and most importantly get the owners name. Next you can send a targeted letter to each, follow up with a phone call. You might stick a postcard up in the take away shops nearby. If you have your car signwritten leave it parked for an hour or so in or near the estate over the weeks.
For me the important thing isn't really a hard sell, but to have your name at the front of their mind when they need your services. I find this works for me, but I accept it won't work for all.
If you were going out to a singles bar to make a new connection would you go up to someone and tell them how great you are?
I hope not, you would probably very quickly introduce yourself, then offer to buy someone a drink and ask them a question. I'd suggest you do the same with your letter; offer some free information to gain permission to have a conversation.
A few other points:
Direct mail is best for promoting seminars
Direct mail need to be followed up (with more mail and the telephone)
Use baby step marketing - you may be expecting too much. Perhaps a more realistic call-to-action is to ask them to subscribe to your newsletter on your Website.
