A article from Business Desk - how many of these have you heard? Or how many have you used? Ive thought of another to list under B - something to do with male cows and the brown stuff!
"GOING forward" into 2015, it felt like a good time to dust down our A-Z of the hideous, but all too frequently used corporate buzzwords.
Feel free to add your suggestions in the comments section below. If we have enough submissions we may be able to publish a kind of business-speak equivalent of Roger's Profanisaurus in time for next Christmas.
If you are a PR firm and you're reading this, please take note. If you are an executive with an MBA or dare we say it a business consultant, we fear all may be lost....
Enjoy:
A: accretive. across the piece, annual leave (holidays sound too much like fun)
B: blue sky thinking, best of breed, buttoned-up, bandwidth (when used outside telecoms), buy-in (approval), burning platform (aka being up the creek without a paddle), boil the ocean (waste time), backfill
C: core competencies; c-suite, circle the wagons (get together)
D:drill down, deep dive, dialled-in, in our DNA, deliverables, ducks in a row
E: energised, escalate, ecosystem
F: freemium (hybrid of free and premium), foodchain
O: offline (when used instead of 'in private' as in "Hey Todd, let's get granular on the project, but it'll have to be offline), on your radar, on board, open the kimono (a particular favourite in the US)
P: paradigm shift, pinchpoint, piggyback
Q: quantum - of solace yes for James Bond, but not for everyday business-speak please!
R: revert, rolling the dice, right-sizing, run rate, reach-out, ramp-up, receivables
S: stakeholders, sustainable grip, sweet spot, sunset - as in 'let's sunset that idea', solution (so overused it's meaningless)
T: traction, teach-in, touch base, to transition (dismiss)
U: up-skill
V: vertical channels, value-added
W: workshop (when used as a verb eg: "James, we need to workshop that project ")
X: a tricky one - X-Ray - a forensic accountant may X-ray one's expenses perhaps?
Y: yield -a modern classic
Z: As I reached the end of my "thought shower" for this corporate A-Z I was forced to research a Z in desperation and found 'zero cycles' - which is a technical and obtuse phrase for declining an invitation.
__________________
Joanne
Winner of Bookkeeper of the Year 2015, 2016 & 2017
Thoughts are my own/not to be regarded as official advice,which should be sought from a suitably qualified Accountant.
You should check out answers with reference to the legal position
lol jo.... Soooo many of those (too many of those!!!) that I recognise from meetings.
here are a few more to add to the dictionary (with handy translations).
- Better not let the grass grow too long under this one (get it done quickly)
- Cradle to grave (full life cycle)
- Look under the bonnet (see whats behind the fascade)
- From the get go (from the start)
- Get all of our ducks in a row (gain agreement)
- Synergies of scale (make half the staff redundant)
- Rightscope (make the rest of the staff redundant)
- Close of play (before you are allowed to go home)
- Perfect Storm scenario (more than one excuse for screwing it all up).
I'm probably going to be sitting here remembering these for the rest of the day now yer lil productivity drain you.
Right, enough fun. Must get to get back to giving 110% to my bluesky thinking before close of play.....
talk in a bit,
Shaun.
p.s. for Z you could also have gone with zero defects approach or z scores.
__________________
Shaun
Responses are not meant as a substitute for professional advice. Answers are intended as outline only the advice of a qualified professional with access to all relevant information should be sought before acting on any response given.
Right, enough fun. Must get to get back to giving 110% to my bluesky thinking before close of play.....
talk in a bit,
Shaun.
p.s. for Z you could also have gone with zero defects approach or z scores.
From the get go Ive been trying to look under the undercarriage, oops I mean bonnet and not to let the grass grow, but because those pesky ducks will not get in a row my traction has transitioned. Ive been called some things in my time too. Laters.
PS - Shouldve gone for Z totals cos I have a pile here that make no sense - 'oops I kept pressing the wrong buttons' Or zombies!
__________________
Joanne
Winner of Bookkeeper of the Year 2015, 2016 & 2017
Thoughts are my own/not to be regarded as official advice,which should be sought from a suitably qualified Accountant.
You should check out answers with reference to the legal position
by the way, if ever you're missing the language of our old world just watch Suits... Can either be viewed as light entertainment or a language instruction video.
Actually, that show's definitely brought "lets go start a knife fight" to your list.
__________________
Shaun
Responses are not meant as a substitute for professional advice. Answers are intended as outline only the advice of a qualified professional with access to all relevant information should be sought before acting on any response given.
Glad I can keep you entertained!! As well as distracted!! Must try that one on netflix - probably one to have the bottle of vodka next to me whilst I do so I can reminisce properly (on my first day in that old Corporate world I was taken out for lunch by eight male colleagues who all bought me a drink and wouldnt let me buy any. 8 vodka and cokes later (my drink of choice in those days) in 2 hours left me a wee bit of a mess for the afternoon. When one of the bosses asked his assistant to collect his shirts from the dry cleaners I said 'she isnt your wife, so no she wont' hic. I did stop a knife fight after another boozy sesh! (Honest I did - it went to court and everything!) Im a good girl now though (boring!)
__________________
Joanne
Winner of Bookkeeper of the Year 2015, 2016 & 2017
Thoughts are my own/not to be regarded as official advice,which should be sought from a suitably qualified Accountant.
You should check out answers with reference to the legal position
Hi John
Trouble is if I shred or shed or annoy the staff any more then they will leave so they will not be keeping the shareholders happy! Staff = me. Shareholder = me. But I do annoy myself sometimes and no doubt a few others around me!
__________________
Joanne
Winner of Bookkeeper of the Year 2015, 2016 & 2017
Thoughts are my own/not to be regarded as official advice,which should be sought from a suitably qualified Accountant.
You should check out answers with reference to the legal position
Laters.
,
