Hi Guys. This is the first of ideally a weekly feature resurrecting what Dave used to do. A few jokes and a meme of the week to liven your weekend, or not as the case may be
Please feel free to add your own or contribute in any way.
Jimmy's mum and Dad wanted to have a Sunday afternoon session in the bedroom so told him to stand on the balcony and tell them everything that was happening outside
The lad began his commentary as his parents put their plan into operation: Theres a car being towed from the car park, he shouted. An ambulance just drove by! Looks like the Anderson s have company, he called out. Matts riding a new bike! Looks like the Sanders are moving! Jason's on his skate board! After a few moments he announced, The Coopers are doing naughty things in the bedroom! Startled, his mum and dad shot up in bed! Dad called out, How do you know that?Johnny's standing on his balcony with a Mars Bar.
A man was driving on the M4 when his wife rang him. "Careful darling, there's an idiot going the wrong way on the motorway and I think it's near where you are" " One idiot? The man replied, there's flaming hundreds!!"
It was Johnnys first day at a new school. The teacher asked him how he was at maths. "Great", said Johnny, "my dad taught me." "Ok, what comes after 4?" "5" Johnny replied "and after 6?" "7 "Johnny replied. "Great" said the teacher, "and what comes after 10?", "Jack" replied Johnny.
If womb is pronounced woom, and tomb is pronounced toom, shouldn't bomb be pronounced boom?
I was walking past a large garden the other day when I saw a man on a sit down mower crying his eyes out. I said to his wife "whats the matter with him?". "Oh, he's just going through a rough patch" she replied?
I asked the librarian if she had any books on pantomimes, she said "yes, they're behind you!!"
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John
Any advice given is for general guidance and professional advice should be sought applicable to your circumstances.
This site needs livening up, I have not been on as much lately as been so busy but I have still been reading all the posts, hopefully this one will get a few more people involved.
Just a quick/stupid one but it always makes me giggle when I hear one of her songs
How do you wake up Lady Gaga?
'Poker face'
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Doug
These are only my opinions of how I see things and therefore should not be taken as advice
Fabulous John!! Although I was being a reet bit thick when I read the first one as I didnt get it at first (not reading things properly is an increasingly bad bad habit so I had to re-read it!) Made one of my clients members of staff giggle too. You do know that you have to keep up the good work in this regard now dont you.
One that had me giggling, especially in light of the myriad spammer calls received yesterday www.youtube.com/watch
A grown man, but when he goes into Tiny Tim mode I always go 'ah, how cute'.
Latest scam by the way.....Call from what I am presuming is the Indian sub continent claiming to be from Scottish Power saying they have had a blip in their system and several meters in the xx postcode region have been mixed up, so they want to check your Meter supply number (not the meter number) against your last invoice.
These folk do often have the correct info but want you to verify it. Then they move your supply without you realising. The next call apparently will be to verify your bank account details.
Sounds dodgy on reading this but they sound fairly convincing, except to this old scam spotting bird who has given them the run around twice now. I used along the lines of 'if you are Scottish Power then you can check the last invoice'. Even with their 'Oh now we cant, we are just the meter department' they got the old pantomime push back of 'oh yes you can, just phone your billing department'.
Just phone your supplier and ask them to deny a new supplier taking over and they will update their records if you have had a call and are worried. This lot are being pretty persistent - 4 calls in less than a week!
The real Scottish Power have identifying facts on their records that the scammers do not have and now have this note on my clients file. Of course if my client does need/want to move it can be done via alternative methods.
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Joanne
Winner of Bookkeeper of the Year 2015, 2016 & 2017
Thoughts are my own/not to be regarded as official advice,which should be sought from a suitably qualified Accountant.
You should check out answers with reference to the legal position
I wonder how Dave is?! I remember him doing a farewell post, and that he was moving away from the profession.
Fabulous John!! Although I was being a reet bit thick when I read the first one as I didnt get it at first (not reading things properly is an increasingly bad bad habit so I had to re-read it!) Made one of my clients members of staff giggle too. You do know that you have to keep up the good work in this regard now dont you. I'll certainly do my best, should be a weekly feature.
One that had me giggling, especially in light of the myriad spammer calls received yesterday www.youtube.com/watch
A grown man, but when he goes into Tiny Tim mode I always go 'ah, how cute'. Oh I love Tiny Tim, he's brilliant.
Latest scam by the way.....Call from what I am presuming is the Indian sub continent claiming to be from Scottish Power saying they have had a blip in their system and several meters in the xx postcode region have been mixed up, so they want to check your Meter supply number (not the meter number) against your last invoice.
Thanks for the info. I had "British Gas" phoning me up a few weeks ago offering me a wonderful new deal as one of their best customers. Apart from a brief spell last year when I moved home I have never been with them. Challenged them and they hung up lol.
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John
Any advice given is for general guidance and professional advice should be sought applicable to your circumstances.
