A milkman was leaving his job, and was collecting his money from his customers on the final day. At the last house a rather voluptuous lady opened the door and beckoned him in. She whisked him upstairs and gave him a night to remember. The next morning the man came downstairs to find a full english breakfast waiting for him. Half way through, she puts a pound coin on the table. "What's that for?" the man asked. "It's my husband's idea", she said, "I told him about it being your last day, and asked him what to get you. He said "Screw the milkman, give him a quid." The breakfast was my idea."
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A man rings his boss and says "I won't be in today, I'm under the weather" The boss said "Whenever I feel like that, I make love to the wife and I feel a lot better" Later that day the man phones his boss and says "I followed your advice boss, and I'm feeling much better, I'll be in tomorrow. Oh by the way, you have a lovely house"
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Bumped into my Electrician friend the other day. Sadly he lost an arm in an accident. "Where are you off to?" I asked. He said "I'm off to change a lightbulb" "Won't that be a bit awkward" I asked. "Nah" he said, "I've got the receipt"
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True story. My mate was the social club bingo caller one particular night. "Unlucky for some...." he called out. "House" shouted one of the ladies. "...12" he finished. "What" she cried "That's not unlucky". "It was for you" he said.
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Beyonce has discovered that her real Dad is Roy Castle, but apparently she won't be taking his surname!
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Speaking of Beyonce. I was telling my mate how much I fancied her. "Whatever floats your boat", he said. "No that's buoyancy" I replied.
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John
Any advice given is for general guidance and professional advice should be sought applicable to your circumstances.
