Hi Guys, Mostly one liners this week, so I've added a couple more.
I was talking to my mate the other day, and I said that I was thinking of getting a divorce, as my wife hadn't spoken to me in over 2 months. "I'd reconsider if I was you", he told me, "women like that are hard to find"
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To the person who stole my anti-depressant tablets - I hope you're happy with yourself.
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it's 10 years since my wife ran off with my best mate - I still miss him (1)
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The lead singer of Tight Fit has been killed by a shark whilst on holiday. He was unable to wim away in time.
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I was shocked to find that on the Canary Islands, there aren't any canary's. I was equally shocked to find that on the Virgin Islands there weren't any canaries either.
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Tesco have gone overboard with this Frozen phenomena. Went in there earlier and there were 6 aisles of the blooming stuff.
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What's Bruce Lee's favourite drink? Wat -tar (2)
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The old lady was visited by the Doctor who had been in bed poorly for a while. The Doctor said "Tell me Mrs Harris, have you been bed-ridden before? "Aye lad, I have", the old lady replied, "and I've been table-ended a few times as well"
(1) I first heard this a few years ago from a colleague who was giving a farewell speech on leaving.. It made me really laugh out loud and my fellow colleagues near me stared at me as if to say, it wasn't that funny.
(2) (probably more of a joke you tell as you have to do the wat-tar bit Bruce Lee style)
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John
Any advice given is for general guidance and professional advice should be sought applicable to your circumstances.
Ah, Tiny Tim. I saw the one when he just did the face mask and that was painful enough. Have you seen the one where he wants to hire a stripper for his party, that is really funny.
