There's not many Valentine jokes about, but I've just seen this one which made me smile.
My girlfriend texted me this morning saying "Happy Valentines Day xxxxx"
I texted back. "Happy Valentines day to you as well"
She texted "You haven't put any x's on so I replied "Sorry, happy Valentines Day, Sarah, Jill, Ruby, Sharon and Melanie as well"
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All those who believe in psycho kinesis, raise my hand.
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My thick mate thought his new girlfriend might be the one
But after looking through her knicker drawer and finding a nurse's outfit,
A French maids outfit, and a policewoman's uniform, he said "If she can't hold down a job she's not for me"
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--He was doing some roofing work the other day
He neared the top of the ladder and starts shaking and going dizzy. He called down to his boss and says "I think I will have to go home, I've come all over giddy and feel sick." His boss asked "Ave yer got vertigo?" "No" he replied "No I only live round the corner."
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I locked eyes with an incredibly sexy Thai girl when I was on holiday. I kept on saying to myself, "Don't get an erection, Don't get an erection."
But she did.
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For his birthday, little Joseph asked for a 10-speed bicycle. His father said 'Son we'd give you one but the mortgage on this house is £280,000 and your mother just lost her job.There's no way we can afford it.'
The next day the father saw little Joseph heading out the front door with a suitcase. So he asked, 'Son where are you going?' Little Joseph told him; 'I was walking past your room last night and heard you telling mum you were pulling out. Then I heard her tell you to wait because she was coming too. And I'll be damned if I'm staying here by myself with a £280,000 mortgage and no bloody bike!
And as it's Valentines day.....
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John
Any advice given is for general guidance and professional advice should be sought applicable to your circumstances.
A bus full of housewives going on a picnic crashed with no survivors, each husband cried for a week, but one husband continued for more than two weeks, when asked about this he replied miserably "my wife missed the bus"
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Doug
These are only my opinions of how I see things and therefore should not be taken as advice
These days I would prefer a practical present than a frivolous waste of money one. When I say frivolous Im excluding holidays, fast cars, diamonds and such.
As long as you didnt also propose and present the engagement ring on Christmas Day!!!!!!!!
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Joanne
Winner of Bookkeeper of the Year 2015, 2016 & 2017
Thoughts are my own/not to be regarded as official advice,which should be sought from a suitably qualified Accountant.
You should check out answers with reference to the legal position
