A man feared his wife wasn't hearing as well as she
used to and he thought she might need a hearing aid.
Not quite sure how to approach her, he called the
family Doctor to discuss the problem.

The Doctor told him there is a simple informal
test the husband could perform to give the Doctor a
better idea about her hearing loss.

Here's what you do," said the Doctor, "stand about
40 feet away from her, and in a normal
conversational speaking tone see if she hears you.
If not, go to 30 feet, then 20 feet, and so on until
you get a response."

That evening, the wife is in the kitchen cooking
dinner,and he was in the den. He says to himself,
"I'm about 40 feet away, let's see what happens."
Then in a normal tone he asks, 'Honey, what's for
dinner?"

No response.

So the husband moves closer to the kitchen, about
30 feet from his wife and repeats, "Honey, what's
for dinner?"

Still no response.

Next he moves into the dining room where he is
about 20 feet from his wife and asks, "Honey, what's
for dinner?"


Again he gets no response.

So, he walks up to the kitchen door, about 10 feet
away. "Honey,what's for dinner?" Again there is no
response.

So he walks right up behind her. "Honey, what's for
dinner?"

"Ralph , for the FIFTH time, it's CHICKEN!"

--

A Glaswegian lad takes his girlfriend home for the first time.

He says, "This is Amanda."

His dad jumps up. "It's a bloody what?"

--

Polish guy went for his eyes tested and the optician held a board up with the letters, XZYCXZY

"can you see that" said the optician?,

"see it!,i feckin know him!"

--

My mate was taking the p1ss out of me for believing anything he told me and said if I looked in the dictionary under gullible there'd be a picture of me,

He's not such a clever dick as I checked and there wasn't.

--

Secrets to a Happy Marriage

1. It is important to find a woman that cooks and cleans.
2. It is important to find a woman that makes good money.
3. It is important to find a woman that likes to have sex.
and MOST important...

4. It is important that these three women never meet.

--