Hurrah, into a new year that just has to be better than the last one, doesn't it.
Anyway, I shall keep the weekend fun going as long as I can, but will apologise in advance if I repeat any that I've previously posted.
Breaking Sky News - A wealthy Nigerian Prince has died and left his entire £12 million fortune to his cat.
He was quoted as saying, "I've tried to give it away on numerous occasions over the years but no one ever responded to my e-mails"
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A husband and wife were in the middle of a massive argument and were giving each other the silent treatment. Suddenly, the husband realised that he needed his wife to wake him at 5am the next morning for an early business flight.
Not wanting to be the first to break the silence and admit defeat, he wrote on a piece of paper: Please wake me at 5am.
He left the note where he knew she would find it. The next morning, the man woke up, only to discover it was 9am and he had missed his flight.
Furious, he started to ask why his wife didnt wake him, when he noticed a piece of paper by the bed. The paper said: Its 5am. Wake up.
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I've been pondering. In England we have a full English, in Ireland a full Irish, but what about Brazil?
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It is with great sadness that I have to mention the loss of a few local businesses. A local bra manufacturer has gone bust, a submarine company has gone under, a manufacturer of food blenders has gone into liquidation, a dog kennel has had to call in the retrievers and a company supplying paper for origami enthusiasts has folded.
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We were so poor when I was a child that my mum got our clothes from the local Army and Navy store
It was embarrassing going to school dressed like a Japanese Admiral.
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And finally, does anyone know why there's only one Monopolies Comission?
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John
Any advice given is for general guidance and professional advice should be sought applicable to your circumstances.
A man walks into a bar and asks for a large scotch and starts drinking it, he says to the barman " with what I have got i shouldn't be drinking this, "Oh dear" replies the barman "What have you got?" "25 pence" replies the man
I went to the butchers today and i said to him "I bet you £500 you can't reach those two bits of meat on the top shelf" "I'm not betting" he said "Why not?" i asked and he said "The steaks are too high"
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Doug
These are only my opinions of how I see things and therefore should not be taken as advice
