I phoned my boss on his mobile number this morning and said, "I'm on the train heading to the south coast now."
"What?" he answered, sounding a bit annoyed. "It's 5 o' clock in the morning! What are you doing on a train?"
"Im doing what you told me," I replied. "You're the one who told me to be in Brighton early this morning!"
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Two bits of tarmac walk into a pub. The 1st says I'm the hardest bit of tarmac in Britain. Outside lane of M6 for 9 years me. The 2nd says pffft I'm hardest, inside lane of the M1 for 9 years, I had to deal with lorries buses and everything. Yer I'm hard. Just then a green bit of tarmac walks in and the other 2 hide under a table. When the green tarmac leaves they come out and say phew that was close. The barman says I thought you 2 were supposed to be hard. They said we are but he's a bloody cyclepath
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ME: I'll see you in a month WIFE: Don't forget to write ME: It's highly unlikely I'd forget such a basic skill, love
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Got an email from some company telling me I've won a competition & that all I need to do now is email them my bank details to receive my cash prize. I've emailed them my details but the jokes on them because I haven't even entered any competition!? Morons!
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Whoever nicknamed the ulnar nerve 'funny bone' obviously never caught theirs on a radiator. 'Tourette's bone' is far more appropriate.
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The world's most prolific Facebook user died today. We'll never see his like again
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John
Any advice given is for general guidance and professional advice should be sought applicable to your circumstances.
There's a similar one Riel about two packets of tunes, arguing over who's hardest. Another packet walks in and they both say, we're not messing with him, he's menthol.
__________________
John
Any advice given is for general guidance and professional advice should be sought applicable to your circumstances.
There's a similar one Riel about two packets of tunes, arguing over who's hardest. Another packet walks in and they both say, we're not messing with him, he's menthol.
Heard the cyclepath and tunes many years ago but still make me laugh!
Cheers John
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Doug
These are only my opinions of how I see things and therefore should not be taken as advice
