Book-keeping practice decides to rearrange the office and clear out some of the old paper work at the same time. The young office junior asks his senior if he can throw out all the records on file that are older than 1945. The senior answers yes, as long as you take a copy.....
A man takes a balloon ride at a local country fair. A fierce wind suddenly kicks up, causing the balloon to violently leave the fair and carry its occupant out into the countryside. Landing in a farmer's field, the man is left with no clue how far he has flown or where he has landed.
Seeing a man walking down a nearby street, he cries out, "Excuse me, sir, can you tell me where I am?"
Eyeing the man in the balloon the passer-by says:, "You are in a downed balloon in a farmer's field."
"You must be an accountant, sir," replied the balloon's unhappy resident.
"How could you possible know that?" asked the passer-by.
"Because what you have told me is absolutely correct, but of absolutely no use to me now," answered the balloonist.
An accountant is having a hard time sleeping and goes to see his doctor. "Doctor, I just can't get to sleep at night." "Have you tried counting sheep?" "That's the problem - I make a mistake and then spend three hours trying to find it."
A young businessman had just started his own firm. He rented a beautiful office and had it furnished with antiques. Sitting there, he saw a man come into the outer office. Wishing to appear the hot shot, the businessman picked up the phone and started to pretend he had a big deal working.
He threw huge figures around and made giant commitments. Finally he hung up and asked the visitor, "Can I help you?"
The man said, "Yeah, I've come to activate your phone lines."
