Its all in your name!

A psychiatrist was conducting group therapy with four young mothers and their small children.

 "You all have obsessions," the doctor observed. To the 1st mother, he said, "You are obsessed with eating. You've even named your daughter Candy."

 He looks to the 2nd mother, "Your obsession is with money. Again, it manifests itself in your child's name, Penny."

 He looks to the 3rd mother. "Your obsession is alcohol. This manifests itself in your child's name, Brandy."

 At this point, the 4th mother gets up, takes her little boy by the hand and says... "Come on, Dick, we're leaving

Blondes on a Plane

A commercial airplane is in flight to Chicago, when a blonde woman sitting in economy gets up and moves to an open seat in the first class section. A flight attendant watches her do this, and politely informs the woman that she must return to her seat in the economy class because that's the type of ticket she paid for.

The blonde woman replies, "I'm blonde, I'm beautiful, I'm going to  Chicago and I'm staying right here."

After repeated attempts and no success convicing the woman to return to economy, the flight attendant goes into the cockpit and informs the pilot and co-pilot that there's a blonde bimbo sitting in first class who refuses to go back to her proper seat.

The co-pilot goes back to the woman and explains why she needs to move, but once again the woman replies by saying, "I'm blonde, I'm beautiful, I'm going to  Chicago and I'm staying right here."

The co-pilot returns to the cockpit and suggests that perhaps they should have the arrival gate call the police and have the woman arrested when they land. The pilot says, "You say she's blonde? I'll handle this. I'm married to a blonde. I speak blonde." He kneels down next to the woman and whispers quietly in her ear, and she says, "Oh, I'm sorry," then quickly moves back to her seat in economy class.

The flight attendant and co-pilot are amazed and ask him what he said to get her to move back to economy without causing any fuss.

"I told her first class isn't going to Chicago."

Bathing in Milk is it really good for you?

An older blonde woman heard through a friend that taking a milk bath is good for the skin, will cure stretch marks and make her beautiful again. So she left a note for her milkman to leave 15 gallons of milk instead of the usual amount.

 When the milkman arrived, and read the note, he felt there must be a mistake. He thought she probably meant 1.5 gallons so he knocked on her door to clarify the point.

 The woman came to the door, and the milkman said, I found your note to leave 15 gallons of milk. Did you mean 1.5 gallons?"

The blonde said, "I want 15 gallons. I'm going to fill my bathtub up with milk and take a milk bath." The milkman asked, "Do you want it Pasteurized?"

 The blonde replied, "Nope, just up to my boobs, I can splash it in my eyes."

Have a good weekend.

Dave