This morning I was taking over the bookkeeping for a café from another bookkeeper that's moved out the area - but not far away and they still come back quite often. I don't know if it acrimonious or not. Probably not. I didn't want to meet at my flat as it isn't a nice area now and I didn't want this bookkeeper bumping into any of the characters that visit the top flat. So I suggested we meet at the café. I thought it odd when she didn't seem keen on the idea. But eventually she agreed.
So it's arranged for 10:30 this morning. I'd already phoned the client to see if it was ok - but this was before I knew the actual time. I texted the client yesterday to say the time. But he never got back to me so I assumed it was ok.
This morning I get a text from the previous bookkeeper saying she has car problems and "might" be 10-15 minutes late. So do I go at the usual time and sit twiddling thumbs for 15 minutes or do I turn up 15 minutes later and the "might" didn't happen and the client and previous bookkeeper are sitting waiting for me? Neither - I misjudge how long it takes me to get ready because my back troubles returned three or four weeks ago and when I look at the time I realise I'm going to be about 3 minutes after the 15 minutes she might be late. In the meantime, because I never got a return text yesterday I was intending phoning the client to warn of the potential delay. But I can't get him on his phone.
In the end the 15 minutes she "might" be late has turned out to be half an hour as she has had to borrow her husband's car. So I am sitting in the café twiddling my thumbs looking like someone that's been stood up on a date. And now the client hasn't turned up. That isn't that important as it turns out. When I arrived at the café the first person I saw working there was someone I was sure I went to school with over 30 years ago but wasn't 100% sure. (When I looked at the wages sheets it was confirmed).
Anyway - what was I saying about "I just can't win" - to get to the café I have to pass by a pub I do bookkeeping/payroll for. I have something to hand in there but because I was in such a rush this morning I couldn't find it. So I took a deviation just in case that client happened to be outside as I walked by. Now I have back problems and this means after a while of standing up or walking my legs go numb. I currently have to use a walking stick. Not as bad as a few months ago when I had to use a rollator walker with a seat on it. This extra deviation from the quickest route is something I could have done without.
As it turns out - I really could have done without it. The client from the pub came in to the café with his little girl and sat down on the table right next to me. And now I have another walk back down. I could drive - but would probably end up getting parked the same distance I currently have to walk.
I just can't win.
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Never buy black socks from a normal shop. They shaft you every time.
I have a clients whose VAT is due Sunday, they have 100+ invoices and receipts missing. I offered to go to collect them yesterday at 3.15ish after being at another clients the rest of the day as I know he is mega busy (never mind that I am). At my first client the Accountant was there and didnt finish what they wanted so I was asked to stay - oh no, Im sorry I say Ive promised to visit another client but keep the laptop and I will collect it Friday!
I arrive at the second clients as promised - he isnt there. No worries he said he probably wouldnt be, but he promised to leave the papers. Had he left the papers? Had he bloomin heckers like! His assistant got him on the phone and shouted at him - his response I will drop them off between 4.30 and 5 at my house. I didnt want to give him my address, because I dont want him turning up when he feels like it but I did just to get the damn papers. I did say dont be late I need to go shopping as I have NO MILK and NOTHING in my fridge at all! At 5pm he phoned and said he would call today instead. I went a bit mad! He even asked me where he sould leave the papers if I wasnt in - in the porch in a box I advised.
So I drove a round trip of 30 miles to fetch my laptop from my first client this morning (had a coffee and chat with her so that was nice). Got back home ready to finish his VAT return. Has he turned up and its now 5.20pm? Nooooooooooo. Dont be daft Joanne! Ive just emailed him - he probably wont ready it til Sunday.
Thank crunchie its Friday!!
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Joanne
Winner of Bookkeeper of the Year 2015, 2016 & 2017
Thoughts are my own/not to be regarded as official advice,which should be sought from a suitably qualified Accountant.
You should check out answers with reference to the legal position
I've just found out this client knows me better than I know him. I know his name as we've both lived in this town for years. I've lived here +25 years, him probably even longer. When we were talking (on the phone) about him dropping something off he asked if I still lived up the top of Xyz Street. He didn't really expect me to say yes. When I did he then said, you've been living up there for years. Which got me thinking - how does he know that?
It was puzzling me for ages. I think I've figured out now. A couple of weeks after I first moved in (in 1989) I ended up having a party in my flat. Not so much a party more of a gathering of people. I didn't invite anyone - they just seemed to arrive. It was a bank holiday weekend and this was late Sunday into Monday morning. The police arrived up a couple of times because we were all laughing that loudly. Not even music blaring - just loud laughter. Anyway, it wasn't me that answered the door to them. It was someone else - who gave the Police my name (as it was on the door - he pretended to be me). About 5:30am we decided to go down the beach. You were still allowed to drink down the beach then - no bylaws to prevent it. Now a large gathering of people walking down the street at that time is going to attract Police attention. It did - and at that age when the Police want to question you, you run first and then ask questions later. So we all scarpered in different directions. The Police eventually caught up with one of the smaller divided groups. When they were taking names the person that answered the door earlier on gave his real name this time. Why do I mention all this? Well, I'm 99% certain this new client of mine might have been one of those present. It didn't dawn on me earlier. A lot of those that arrived at that gathering 25 years ago were friends of friends. I think I'll need to ask the person that answered the door to the Police if this is the case. He lives in Spain now but we do reminisce on Facebook when we were daft eedgits all those years ago. I think he'll probably remember that night.
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Never buy black socks from a normal shop. They shaft you every time.
That made me laugh about running from the police. My Mum always said - 'never talk about people on the bus as you never know who is sitting behind you' - advice that as Ive got older Im taken and passed on because its quite scary sometimes how people are inter-connected. My sons girlfriend told me about her aunt and it turns out I used to talk to her aunt on the train (every time it was late or we got stuck on it) about 18 years ago. Small world.
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Joanne
Winner of Bookkeeper of the Year 2015, 2016 & 2017
Thoughts are my own/not to be regarded as official advice,which should be sought from a suitably qualified Accountant.
You should check out answers with reference to the legal position
I've been in contact with my friend on Facebook and found out the real reason we ran from the Police. Also the reason it was him and not me that answered the door to the Police. It was the first and last time I have ever tried magic mushrooms. When the Police arrived at the door they were being cooked in my kitchen. I think I was trying to hide them. Not dispose of them - just hide them. When I asked this friend who all was there as he's better at remembering these things - the first name he mentioned was this new client. He also commented it was a random group of people so I wasn't imagining that part. We were also talking about our days going to the football together as a group and hiring minibuses to away games. Or when there wasn't enough for that - packing everyone into one car. I recall a driver pulling into a supermarket car park as there was a police car behind him and he didn't want them looking too closely inside the car where he would have found about 10 people crammed into it.
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Never buy black socks from a normal shop. They shaft you every time.
That made me laugh about running from the police. My Mum always said - 'never talk about people on the bus as you never know who is sitting behind you' - advice that as Ive got older Im taken and passed on because its quite scary sometimes how people are inter-connected. My sons girlfriend told me about her aunt and it turns out I used to talk to her aunt on the train (every time it was late or we got stuck on it) about 18 years ago. Small world.
That's what I find funny on Facebook - seeing people you know and wondering how they know someone else they're friends with.
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Never buy black socks from a normal shop. They shaft you every time.
I arrive at the second clients as promised - he isnt there. No worries he said he probably wouldnt be, but he promised to leave the papers. Had he left the papers? Had he bloomin heckers like!
Ee bah gum lass, I'll go t'foot of our stairs. heckers like is an expression I han't heard in a long time, think it was one of Hilda Ogdens favourites back in the golden days of the Street
Stuart, your life sounds like a chapter from an Irvine Welsh novel!
Why were you cooking magic mushrooms, raw in marmite sandwiches were the norm! Also fresh ones were always legal, think that may still be the case which is why middle aged and middle class people can still be seen in the early hours on Hamstead Heath...I am led to believe.
Ee bah gum lass, I'll go t'foot of our stairs. heckers like is an expression I han't heard in a long time, think it was one of Hilda Ogdens favourites back in the golden days of the Street
In my head hecklers like is reet Yorkshire! Now I'm being compared to Hilda Ogden, well there's a first, although the Murial on the wall is a giveaway, along with the curlers in my hair and the fag hanging from my mouth. I would say I'm proud to be. Manc but I'm actually from Cheshirrrre.
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Joanne
Winner of Bookkeeper of the Year 2015, 2016 & 2017
Thoughts are my own/not to be regarded as official advice,which should be sought from a suitably qualified Accountant.
You should check out answers with reference to the legal position
Ee bah gum lass, I'll go t'foot of our stairs. heckers like is an expression I han't heard in a long time, think it was one of Hilda Ogdens favourites back in the golden days of the Street
In my head hecklers like is reet Yorkshire! Now I'm being compared to Hilda Ogden, well there's a first, although the Murial on the wall is a giveaway, along with the curlers in my hair and the fag hanging from my mouth. I would say I'm proud to be. Manc but I'm actually from Cheshirrrre.
Oh heck Jo, please don't think I was comparing you to our Hilda. I'm Yorkshire through and through and it's a lovely expression, but you don't here it said nowadays (it's usually a much stronger word they use lol) Gosh, I'm sounding like an old fogey and I'm only 54.
