I have just drafted up some content for a adverting postcard and I wondered if anyone could possibly have a read through for me to make sure it doesn't sound too ridiculous I'm quite happy for it to be ripped apart, I want to get it right.
I haven't done any advertising for a while and have room for plenty more work so I'm going out to get some more!I am getting new work in most weeks through recommendations and my website but I want MORE and QUICKER. I've tried this before with flyers and not done too bad out of it. I'm concentrating on builders and subcontractors for this postcard, there are so many around these parts and this is what I have the most experience with. I can't/won't do cold calling, I'm too much of a coward, letters seem bland and email addresses for these guys are hard to come across however they all advertise in the yellow pages etc and have addresses (I write down details every time I see a work van too) so that's why I decided to get postcards made up and post them out. And also they were on special offer 1,000 A5 double sided flyers 300gsm (postcard thickness) for £28.00 plus delivery (from£72.00). There might not be 1,000 builders around here but it was cheaper to get 1,000 than pay £23.00 for 100.
Someone on here told me to expect at the most a 1% return, I'd be delighted to get 10 new clients from it! just under £600 for the postcard and the 2nd class stamp to go on (but not including the design) and I wouldn't send them all put at once (mostly because I don't have £600 to spend)
I'm only writing the info in them, the lady who made my website and logo etc is going to design them.
They printed my business cards which were great, they also printed my flyers that were not so great in quality
They are good value for money but they are not perfect. I hope I get them printed before they read this the customer service is not very helpful either. So if I could afford better I would certainly go elsewhere.
I'm just making some changes and making sure there's nothing obvious wrong to save embarrassment
Ok here goes, it's not finished - I'll probably spend another few nights going over and over it again yet and moving things around BUT I have done spell check
Obviously it isn't going to look like this, it's just the wording.
I'm going to put in somewhere about viewing the client recommendations on my website too.
(I'm dreading waking up in the morning after posting this now )
FRONT
Bookkeeping and Tax Return Services for Small Businesses and Self-Employed
·BOOKKEEPING· Bookkeeping can be completed annually for your Self-Assessment and/or quarterly for your VAT. If you have more complicated tax affairs, are a limited company or just happy with the accountancy service you already receive and just after the bookkeeping I can prepare your accounts for your accountant and provide them with exactly what they need with the potential to considerably reduce your accountancy fees for year-end reports and tax work.
·TAX RETURN SERVICES· Preparing accounts and filing Self-Assessment Tax Returns for both individuals and partnerships. Covering most types of income including self-employment, employment, partnerships, directors, property and dividends. Services are provided in a timely manner to avoid late submission fines and penalties. Dealing with HMRC on your behalf.
·VAT RETURNS· Prepare and submit VAT Returns making sure you are paying and reclaiming the correct amounts. Informing you of how much to pay, how to pay and when. This services also includes bookkeeping or checking, preparing and filing returns from your own bookkeeping records.
·PAYROLL· A monthly payroll service for both employers and CIS Subcontractors. A complete service calculating pay, providing payslips/subcontractor statements, HMRC submissions, processing P45s and P60s and completing the payroll year-end all included for a fixed monthly fee.
Penzance Bookkeeping Services provides a reliable, efficient and friendly bookkeeping service with a quick turnaround time. An affordable service from an experienced and qualified bookkeeper.
BACK
BENEFITS OF USING A BOOKKEEPER
PEACE OF MIND that your VAT, TAX and PAYE calculations are done correctly and that you are not paying too much. Dealing with all correspondence with HMRC on your behalf so you dont have to.
SAVING YOU TIME freeing you from paperwork and giving you more time to increase your revenue.
COST EFFECTIVE Making sure you claim all allowable expenses AND..
NO MORE FINES OR LATE FILING PENALTIES work will be completed on time every time ensuring you do not miss deadlines or
Ok here goes, it's not finished - I'll probably spend another few nights going over and over it again yet and moving things around BUT I have done spell check
Obviously it isn't going to look like this, it's just the wording.
I'm going to put in somewhere about viewing the client recommendations on my website too.
(I'm dreading waking up in the morning after posting this now )
FRONT
Bookkeeping and Tax Return Services for Small Businesses and the Self-Employed
·BOOKKEEPING· Bookkeeping can be completed annually for your Self-Assessment and/or quarterly for your VAT. If you have more complicated tax affairs, are a limited company or just happy with the accountancy service you already receive and just aftertheand simply need bookkeeping services I can prepare your accountsbusiness paperwork for your accountant and provide them with exactly what they need. with the potential to considerably reduce your accountancy fees for year-end reports and tax work. You can't say that as you are advertising savings based on something that the accountant may not go along with.
·TAX RETURN SERVICES· Preparing accounts and filing Self-Assessment Tax Returns for both individuals and partnerships. I cCovering most types of income including self-employment, employment, partnerships, directors, (are directors not just a different sort of employee?) property, pensions, savings and dividends. Services are provided in a timely manner towhich avoids risk of late submission fines and penalties. I can also dDealing with HMRC on your behalf.
·VAT RETURNS· Prepare and submit VAT Returns making sure you are paying and reclaiming the correct amounts. Informing you of how much to pay, how to pay and when. This services also includes bookkeeping or checking, preparing and filing returns from your own bookkeeping records. This sounds as if one paying for VAT services gets their bookkeeping thrown in as part of that service where the reverse is closer to reality. I don't think that line is necessary or at least not under this heading.
·PAYROLL· A monthly payroll service for both employers and CIS Subcontractors. A complete service calculating pay, providing payslips/subcontractor statements, HMRC submissions, processing P45s and P60s and completing the payroll year-end all included for a fixed monthly fee.
Penzance Bookkeeping Services provides a reliable, efficient, timely, affordable and friendly bookkeeping service with a quick turnaround time. An affordable service from an experienced and qualified bookkeeper. I reworded that as its difficult to promise quick turnaround when one is dependant upon input from the clients. Only a subtle change but its avoiding emphasis on the promis of speed of turnaround.
BACK
BENEFITS OF USING A BOOKKEEPER
PEACE OF MIND that your VAT, TAX and PAYE calculations are done correctly and that you are not paying too much. That insinuates that using an accountant they are paying too much. Bookkeepers would not like it if we used the term "do it cheap, do it twice" Dealing with all correspondence with HMRC on your behalf so you dont have to. You may regret including that line as it encourages business owners to believe that by taking on your sevices they are somehow absolving themselves of some element of their own responsibilities where the reality is that your engagement letter will be stating the opposit to your advertising!
SAVING YOU TIME freeing you from paperwork and giving you more time to increase your revenue. concentrate on building your business.
COST EFFECTIVE Making sure you claim all allowable expenses AND.. and what?
NO MORE FINES OR LATE FILING PENALTIES provided that I am supplied by yourself with all requested information then work will be completed on time every time ensuring you do not miss deadlines or Or what?
KEY
Red = suggested removal
Blue = suggested addition
Green = Comment
the above is meant to be constructive, no offence is intended and the above are only suggestions.
You must always remember that nothing in your advertising must work against the content of your engagement letter or you could create a situation where a court could overturn the engagement letter on the basis that it did not adhere to the spirit with which the contract had been entered into. Say nothing in marketing materials to make a business owner feel that they absolve themselves of any responsibility by employing your services.
kindest regards,
Shaun.
__________________
Shaun
Responses are not meant as a substitute for professional advice. Answers are intended as outline only the advice of a qualified professional with access to all relevant information should be sought before acting on any response given.
Shaun, thank you so much for taking the time to go through this And so thoroughly! I really appreciate it. This has given a lot to think about and to to change, there's a lot I haven't thought about properly
I would concentrate more on the benefits and less on the features of the service, if I were you.
Find the one big problem you solve for your ideal client and make it into a compelling story. Have you thought about who this is aimed at, or are you just doing a hit and hope mailing? Is it part of a bigger campaign?
You don't seem to have any call to action. What is it you want them to do after reading the postcard, and why should they?
You'll find that you have more response if you:
Aim it at a particular type of client. Whether that's demographic or psychographic
Talk to that client about the problems they are experiencing right now
Tell them how you can solve that problem
Have a compelling call to action. Try putting some sort of reason to act quickly
Put the client at the centre of the postcard, not your business
Follow up. The Chartered Institute of Marketing used to say a person needed 7 touches to have any impact, this is now more than doubled with technology
Hi Rachel
Good luck with the postcards. I sent some out nearly 3 years ago now and got a good response from them. However, don't be alarmed if it doesn't come straight away. I had a phone call the other day from what is now a new client, who had received one of the postcards and filed it away. Wasn't expecting that one, but it was an added bonus.
Debbie
TAX RETURN SERVICES· Preparing accounts and filing Self-Assessment Tax Returns for both individuals and partnerships. I cCovering most types of income including self-employment, employment, partnerships, directors, (are directors not just a different sort of employee?) property, pensions, savings and dividends. Services are provided in a timely manner towhich avoids risk of late submission fines and penalties. I can also dDealing with HMRC on your behalf.
I'd go along pretty much with what Shaun said, and the first two sections stood out at me, particularly about dealing with HMRC. I was just racking my brains as to how to re-word it when I read Shauns post. He's also spotted things I didn't. So Shaun, consider yourself the new BKN copywriter. And you thought it was just a forum....
I would include directors in that second sentence though, as your average employee doesn't need to complete a tax return. Although to be fair, most accouuntants also do the Director's self assessment as part of their service to a Ltd Company.
__________________
John
Any advice given is for general guidance and professional advice should be sought applicable to your circumstances.
I'm quite happy for it to be ripped apart, I want to get it right.
1,000 A5 double sided flyers 300gsm (postcard thickness) for £28.00 plus delivery (from£72.00). There might not be 1,000 builders around here but it was cheaper to get 1,000 than pay £23.00 for 100.
and making sure there's nothing obvious wrong to save embarrassment 
