The manager had a major issue and needed the Manager to come in to work urgently. He rand his house and a little girl answered.
Feeling put out at the inconvenience of having to talk to a youngster the boss asked, "Is your Daddy home?".
"Yes.", whispered the small voice. May I talk with him?", the man asked. To the surprise of the boss, the small voice whispered, "No." Wanting to talk with an adult, the boss asked, "Is your Mummy there?". "Yes.", came the answer. "May I talk with her?".
Again the small voice whispered, "No."
Knowing that it was not likely that a young child would be left home alone, the boss decided he would just leave a message with the person who should be there watching over the child.
"Is there any one there besides you?", the boss asked the child. "Yes", whispered the child, "A policeman." Wondering what a cop would be doing at his employee's home, the boss asked, "May I speak with the policeman?". "No, he's busy.", whispered the child. "Busy doing what?", asked the boss.
"Talking to Daddy and Mummy.", came the whispered answer. Growing concerned and even worried as he heard what sounded like a helicopter through the ear piece on the phone the boss asked, "What is that noise?". "A hello-copper.", answered the whispering voice. "What is going on there?", asked the boss, now alarmed. In a whispering voice the child answered, "The search team just landed the hello-copper!" Alarmed, concerned and more than just a little frustrated the boss asked, "Why are they there?" Still whispering, the young voice replied along with a muffled giggle, "They're looking for me!"
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I said to my mate Dave ''Why do scuba divers fall of the boat backwards'', He said 'Ya thick barsteward. If they fell forward they would still be on the boat'
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What's the difference between a western girl and a Arab girl? The western girl gets stoned before she has sex.
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The SUN has offered £1000 to any journalist who can get Hodgson to say he wants to improve his team's ranking.
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-- Edited by Leger on Friday 21st of February 2020 01:58:05 AM
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John
Any advice given is for general guidance and professional advice should be sought applicable to your circumstances.
what, no responses this week... c'mon people show some appreciation.
Brilliant John. no idea about the last one but the others, especially the first, brilliant
all I can offer is ffer in exchange some interesting observations....
..why the sun lightens our hair, but darkens our skin? ..why women can't put on mascara with their mouth closed? ..why you don't ever see the headline "Psychic Wins Lottery"? ..why "abbreviated" is such a long word? ..why doctors call what they do "practice"? ..why you have to click on "Start" to stop Windows? ..why lemon juice is made with artificial flavour, while dishwashing liquid is made with real lemons? ..why the man who invests all your money is called a broker? ..why there isn't mouse-flavoured cat food? ..why Noah didn't swat those two mosquitoes? ..why they sterilize the needle for lethal injections? ..why sheep don't shrink when it rains? ..why they are called apartments when they are all stuck together? ..why they call the airport "the terminal" if flying is so safe?
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Shaun
Responses are not meant as a substitute for professional advice. Answers are intended as outline only the advice of a qualified professional with access to all relevant information should be sought before acting on any response given.
Been up in Nottingham for a few days so unable to contribute until now,
A husband and wife are waiting at the bus stop with their 9 children, a blind man joins them after few minutes, when the bus finally arrives they find it overloaded and only the wife and the 9 kids are able to fit on the bus. So the husband and blind man decide to walk and after a while the husband gets irritated by the ticking of the stick of the blind man as he taps it on the footpath and says to him "You know if you put a piece of rubber on the end of your stick I wouldn't have to listen to that tapping" to which the blind man replied " if you had put a piece of rubber on the end of YOUR stick we'd be on the bloody bus"
-- Edited by Artois on Saturday 22nd of February 2020 03:03:28 PM
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Doug
These are only my opinions of how I see things and therefore should not be taken as advice
Some funnies there boys. Whoever said Accountants were boring has clearly never met you lot! Must admit I thought the theme was the wording used after recent events, rather than the programme. Or is it the hats....Shaun were is yours?
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Joanne
Winner of Bookkeeper of the Year 2015, 2016 & 2017
Thoughts are my own/not to be regarded as official advice,which should be sought from a suitably qualified Accountant.
You should check out answers with reference to the legal position
Must admit I thought the theme was the wording used after recent events, rather than the programme.
I just needed to change my Avatar, still had poppies then saw this and yes must admit it was the wording that made me post it as I thought it fit in nicely!
Where is the picture of your bridge from Joanne?
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Doug
These are only my opinions of how I see things and therefore should not be taken as advice
Its round the corner from my house. Marple aqueduct over part of the Peak Forrest Canal at Chadkirk with Railway bridge as well. Used to be a nice sheer drop, hell walk on one side!
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Joanne
Winner of Bookkeeper of the Year 2015, 2016 & 2017
Thoughts are my own/not to be regarded as official advice,which should be sought from a suitably qualified Accountant.
You should check out answers with reference to the legal position
