Sorry folks, but as they say, better late than never. As mentioned last week here is a very similar joke to the secretary joke
My girlfriend and I had been dating for over a year, and we decided to get married. My parents helped us in every way, my friends encouraged me, and my girlfriend? She was a dream! There was only one thing bothering me, very much indeed, and that was her younger sister. She was twenty years of age, wore tight mini skirts and low cut blouses. She would regularly flirt and make suggestive comments to me. It had to be deliberate. She never did it when she was near anyone else.
One day her little sister called and asked me to come over to check the wedding invitations. She was alone when I arrived. She whispered to me that soon I was to be married, and she had feelings and desires for me that she couldn't overcome and didn't really want to overcome. She told me that she wanted to make love to me just once before I got married. I was in total shock and couldn't say a word. I jumped up off the sofa and bolted outside towards the car. Outside were my future in laws and my girlfriend all clapping and cheering. With tears in his eyes my future FIL hugged me and said, "We are very happy that you have passed our little test. We couldn't ask for a better man for our daughter. Welcome to the family".
The moral of this story is:
Always keep your condoms in your car.
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A truck loaded with thousands of copies of Roget's Thesaurus crashed yesterday losing its entire load. Witnesses were stunned, startled, aghast, taken aback, stupefied, confused, shocked, rattled, paralysed, dazed, bewildered, mixed up, surprised, awed, dumbfounded, nonplussed, flabbergasted, astounded, amazed, confounded, astonished, overwhelmed, horrified, numbed, speechless, and perplexed
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I can't believe I got sacked from the calendar factory.
All I did was take a day off.
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The Grand Old Duke of York was a manic depressive. When he was up, he was up...
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Teacher: = If I gave you 2 plus another 2 cats and then another 2, how many will you have?
Johnny: = Seven, Sir.
Teacher: = No, listen carefully... If I gave you 2 cats, and another 2 cats and another 2, how many will you have?
Johnny: = Seven, Sir.
Teacher: = Let me put it to you differently. If I gave you 2 apples, and another 2 apples and another 2, how many would you have?
Johnny: = Six.
Teacher: = Good. Now if I gave you 2 cats, and another 2 cats and another 2, how many would you have?
Johnny: = Seven!!! SIR!
A very angry Teacher: Where in the hell do you get seven from?!?!?
Johnny: Because I've already got a cat Sir!
-- Edited by Leger on Tuesday 19th of May 2020 01:09:48 AM
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John
Any advice given is for general guidance and professional advice should be sought applicable to your circumstances.
