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Post Info TOPIC: Weekend Fun 18.5.21
Leger


Master Book-keeper

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Date:
Weekend Fun 18.5.21
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I asked my Chinese friend what it was like living in China.  "Can't complain" he said.

--

I saw a Fox on the way to work this morning.
I thought to myself "wonder what he does..."

--

John: Dad, there's a girl I like. She's beautiful. I want to go out with her.
Dad: Who?
John: The girl across our street, Nina.
Dad: Oh no, you can't. Don't tell Mum but she's your sister.
John was furious, but a week has passed and he fell in love again.
John: Dad, I think I'm in love. She's prettier.
Dad: who?
John: She lives beside our house, name's Ana.
Dad: Oh son, I pity you but you can't date her. She's your sister as well. I'm sorry but it happened more than once.
John was furious. He decided to talk to his mother.
John: Mum, I hate dad! I can't date the 5 ladies I fell in love with just because they're dad's daughters to different women.

 

Mum: Oh, don't mind what he said. You date whoever you want love, he's not your father.
 
--
 
So I went to the doctors today and I said: "I feel like I've got some cutlery stuck in my throat."
The doc had a look and said: "It's not serious, you just need to have utensils taken out."
 
--
 
"HOW COME YOU CANNOT MAINTAIN AN ERECTION THESE DAYS!!?
my wife shouted to me after another unsuccessful session.
"I'm sorry love, but it's not my fault, It's the mirror."
 
"Really?"
She said, disbelievingly.
"The mirror??"
"Yeah." I replied.
Go have a look in it."
 
--
 
My wife has left me for the milkman!
Seeing them drive away on his milk float was the worst two hours of my life.


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John 

 

 

 Any advice given is for general guidance and professional advice should be sought applicable to your circumstances.
Riel


Veteran Member

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Wonderful I haven't heard any of them before. Love the Chinese one and the fox one - just love quick one liner types

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Riel
Artois


Guru

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Posts: 1313
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Thanks John

Out of surgery! Had my eardrum replaced with a piece of pigskin, my hearing is great now apart from a little crackling.

Visited the Doctor today, he said my sugar was too high so I came home and moved it to a lower shelf.



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Doug

These are only my opinions of how I see things and therefore should not be taken as advice
Leger


Master Book-keeper

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Posts: 3904
Date:
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Glad you like them Riel

 

Cheers Doug, your second one reminded me of the guy who went into the butchers and said.  Can I have a couple of those cuts of beef off the top shelf.  No said the butcher, the steaks are too high.



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John 

 

 

 Any advice given is for general guidance and professional advice should be sought applicable to your circumstances.
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