Introductions and Time Out - The Book-keepers Forum (UK)

JenHen · JenHen

Hello! New here! I've just applied for my Money Laundering Supervision with HMRC. I have 3 businesses waiting for me to be registered to take over doing their books. I'm familiar with 2 of them having been employed previously by them. I have always done accounts for small/medium businesses sin...

Leger · Leger

An American photographer on vacation was inside a church in Oldham taking photographs when he noticed a golden telephone mounted on the wall with a sign that read '£10,000 per call'. The American, being intrigued, asked a priest who was strolling by what the telephone was used for. The priest replie...

Leger · Leger

I was at the checkout at Tesco today when I noticed the man in front of me put one thing on the conveyer belt... A box of condoms. Not only did he notice me staring but decided to make super uncomfortable eye contact. So to lighten the mood I put my bottle of ketchup on and said "looks like we've both bought so...

Leger · Leger

Hurrah, into a new year that just has to be better than the last one, doesn't it. Anyway, I shall keep the weekend fun going as long as I can, but will apologise in advance if I repeat any that I've previously posted. Breaking Sky News - A wealthy Nigerian Prince has died and left his entire £12 million for...

Leger · Leger

It's been a funny old year, and I don't think any of us knew this time last year that 2020 would be plighted by the Covid virus. Hopefully next year will start to see a return to some sort of normality. I wish all of you a lovely Christmas, and are able to make the most of it despite the restrictions.

Leger · Leger

Hi Folks, sorry it's been a while. My mate works for the Royal Mail, and part of his job is to process all the mail that has illegible addresses. One day last week, a letter came to his desk, addressed in shaky handwriting, to Father Christmas. He thought he should open it to see what it was about. He opene...

Amanda · Amanda

HI All, Where is the Friday fun then, even though I read them late I really enjoyed reading them! Come on John please post some more. They brightened up my day during these mad times!

Osama79 · Osama79

This is the only accounting forum i have found online with some activity . The rest of the accounting forums looks like dead forums . Thanks

Leger · Leger

I heard this one a few weeks ago and it made me laugh. Been meaning to post it ever since and just seen it again, so here it is. Fred Smith is on his deathbed and knows the end is near.His nurse, his wife, his daughter and 2 sons, are with him.He asks for 2 witnesses to be present and a camcorder be in place to r...

Leger · Leger

A farmer owned a donkey that, since the day it was born, was as miserable as sin. It was always moping around and crying so the farmer issued a country-wide challenge; £10,000 to the man, woman or child that make the donkey laugh!Many came and went, telling the donkey jokes and taking it for days out, but...

Leger · Leger

It's back George & Ken were on police traffic duties when a car passed them and in the passenger seat was a penguin. They followed the car, checking that it was indeed a penguin, pulled the car over and spoke to the driver."Excuse me sir, but we noticed the penguin in your car. Can you please explai...

Anaphase · Anaphase

Hello everyone, I'm Donna and have been lurking around in the shadows for quite some time but have now decided to join the forum. The only bookkeeping experience I have is from over 30 years ago (before computers!) when I was on an adult training scheme and took a module on double-entry bookkeeping an...

Leger · Leger

A man feared his wife wasn't hearing as well as sheused to and he thought she might need a hearing aid.Not quite sure how to approach her, he called thefamily Doctor to discuss the problem.The Doctor told him there is a simple informaltest the husband could perform to give the Doctor abetter idea about...

Leger · Leger

A three-year old walks over to a pregnant lady while waiting with his mother in a doctors surgery.Why is your stomach so big? he asks.I´m having a baby. she replies.Is the baby in your stomach? he asks, with his big eyes.Yes, it is. she says.Is it a good baby? he asks, with a puzzled look.Oh, yes. A real...

Leger · Leger

Well, Thats me in Hospital This has not been a good day. After spending the last 8 weeks quarantined inside the house, and going stir crazy I decided to go horse riding, something I haven't done in ages. It turned out to be a one big mistake!I got on the horse and started out slowly, which was fine. But then...

Leger · Leger

Yay, it's July, and my first job this morning was to hotfoot it down to the Barbers and get a Grade cut done. Feel loads better now. Playing golf one day I accidentally tipped over my golf buggy..Elizabeth, a very attractive and keen golfer, who lived in a villa on the golf course, heard the noise and c...

Naj · Naj

Hello everyone, My name is Najat. I am an ACCA member. I have been working in an accountancy practise for the past 5 year. I would like to eventually become self employed. For the mean time, I want to establish a small book keeping business along side my day to day work in the practise. I am hoping that, i...

SamB · SamB

Hi My name is Sam and and I am a newbie to this forum. I work for a small business as an Office Manager and have taken on book-keeping as part of my role! I have been book-keeping for just under 6 months, have no formal qualifications other than being organised!! I am hoping to underpin my learning with...

Leger · Leger

Blimey, half way through the year, which means only 20 sleeps to Christmas if you're an insomniac! Conjoined twins walk into a pub in Toronto and park themselves on a bar stool. One of them says to the bartender, 'Don't mind us, we're joined at the hip. I'm John, he's Jim. Two Molson Canadian beers plea...

Leger · Leger

Here we go folks I was in a taxi last week and tapped the driver gently on the shoulder. The driver screamed, lost control of the taxi, nearly hit a bus, drove up over the kerb and stopped just inches from a large plate window. For a few moments everything was silent. Then, the shaking driver said, "Are y...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	Hello! (Preview) Hello! New here! I've just applied for my Money Laundering Supervision with HMRC. I have 3 businesses waiting for me to be registered to take over doing their books. I'm familiar with 2 of them having been employed previously by them. I have always done accounts for small/medium businesses sin...	JenHen	18	2800	Tue Feb 2 13:27 2021 by Maat
	Weekend Fun 16.1.20 (Preview) An American photographer on vacation was inside a church in Oldham taking photographs when he noticed a golden telephone mounted on the wall with a sign that read '£10,000 per call'. The American, being intrigued, asked a priest who was strolling by what the telephone was used for. The priest replie...	Leger	3	1890	Tue Jan 19 12:44 2021 by Artois
	Weekend Fun 9/1/21 (Preview) I was at the checkout at Tesco today when I noticed the man in front of me put one thing on the conveyer belt... A box of condoms. Not only did he notice me staring but decided to make super uncomfortable eye contact. So to lighten the mood I put my bottle of ketchup on and said "looks like we've both bought so...	Leger	2	2021	Mon Jan 11 17:06 2021 by Leger
	New year fun (Preview) Hurrah, into a new year that just has to be better than the last one, doesn't it. Anyway, I shall keep the weekend fun going as long as I can, but will apologise in advance if I repeat any that I've previously posted. Breaking Sky News - A wealthy Nigerian Prince has died and left his entire £12 million for...	Leger	2	1845	Sun Jan 3 09:37 2021 by Artois
	Christmas greetings (Preview) It's been a funny old year, and I don't think any of us knew this time last year that 2020 would be plighted by the Covid virus. Hopefully next year will start to see a return to some sort of normality. I wish all of you a lovely Christmas, and are able to make the most of it despite the restrictions.	Leger	3	2049	Thu Dec 24 16:29 2020 by Leger
	Friday Fun is back 18-12-20 (Preview) Hi Folks, sorry it's been a while. My mate works for the Royal Mail, and part of his job is to process all the mail that has illegible addresses. One day last week, a letter came to his desk, addressed in shaky handwriting, to Father Christmas. He thought he should open it to see what it was about. He opene...	Leger	5	2117	Wed Dec 23 00:00 2020 by Shamus
	Where is the Friday fun.............. (Preview) HI All, Where is the Friday fun then, even though I read them late I really enjoyed reading them! Come on John please post some more. They brightened up my day during these mad times!	Amanda	3	2127	Tue Dec 8 22:11 2020 by Amanda
	Hello , i am new here and thank god for this forum :) (Preview) This is the only accounting forum i have found online with some activity . The rest of the accounting forums looks like dead forums . Thanks	Osama79	0	1829	Tue Nov 24 20:04 2020 by Osama79
	Weekend Fun 21.9.20 (Preview) I heard this one a few weeks ago and it made me laugh. Been meaning to post it ever since and just seen it again, so here it is. Fred Smith is on his deathbed and knows the end is near.His nurse, his wife, his daughter and 2 sons, are with him.He asks for 2 witnesses to be present and a camcorder be in place to r...	Leger	0	2213	Mon Sep 21 22:13 2020 by Leger
	Weekend Fun 13.9.20 (Preview) A farmer owned a donkey that, since the day it was born, was as miserable as sin. It was always moping around and crying so the farmer issued a country-wide challenge; £10,000 to the man, woman or child that make the donkey laugh!Many came and went, telling the donkey jokes and taking it for days out, but...	Leger	3	1762	Fri Sep 18 11:47 2020 by Rhianrach
	Weekend Fun (Preview) It's back George & Ken were on police traffic duties when a car passed them and in the passenger seat was a penguin. They followed the car, checking that it was indeed a penguin, pulled the car over and spoke to the driver."Excuse me sir, but we noticed the penguin in your car. Can you please explai...	Leger	7	1924	Thu Sep 10 13:00 2020 by Amanda
	Hello, total newbie (Preview) Hello everyone, I'm Donna and have been lurking around in the shadows for quite some time but have now decided to join the forum. The only bookkeeping experience I have is from over 30 years ago (before computers!) when I was on an adult training scheme and took a module on double-entry bookkeeping an...	Anaphase	2	2657	Tue Sep 8 20:48 2020 by Brian McVean
	Weekend Fun 9.8.20 (Preview) A man feared his wife wasn't hearing as well as sheused to and he thought she might need a hearing aid.Not quite sure how to approach her, he called thefamily Doctor to discuss the problem.The Doctor told him there is a simple informaltest the husband could perform to give the Doctor abetter idea about...	Leger	5	1893	Tue Aug 25 16:18 2020 by Amanda
	Weekend Fun 2.8.20 (Preview) A three-year old walks over to a pregnant lady while waiting with his mother in a doctors surgery.Why is your stomach so big? he asks.I´m having a baby. she replies.Is the baby in your stomach? he asks, with his big eyes.Yes, it is. she says.Is it a good baby? he asks, with a puzzled look.Oh, yes. A real...	Leger	2	1510	Mon Aug 3 16:48 2020 by Artois
	Weekend Fun 12.7.20 (Preview) Well, Thats me in Hospital This has not been a good day. After spending the last 8 weeks quarantined inside the house, and going stir crazy I decided to go horse riding, something I haven't done in ages. It turned out to be a one big mistake!I got on the horse and started out slowly, which was fine. But then...	Leger	2	2276	Mon Jul 13 10:41 2020 by Leger
	Weekend Fun 4.7.20 (Preview) Yay, it's July, and my first job this morning was to hotfoot it down to the Barbers and get a Grade cut done. Feel loads better now. Playing golf one day I accidentally tipped over my golf buggy..Elizabeth, a very attractive and keen golfer, who lived in a villa on the golf course, heard the noise and c...	Leger	5	2417	Mon Jul 6 18:43 2020 by Leger
	Hello everyone (Preview) Hello everyone, My name is Najat. I am an ACCA member. I have been working in an accountancy practise for the past 5 year. I would like to eventually become self employed. For the mean time, I want to establish a small book keeping business along side my day to day work in the practise. I am hoping that, i...	Naj	6	2468	Tue Jun 30 21:28 2020 by Naj
	Hello! (Preview) Hi My name is Sam and and I am a newbie to this forum. I work for a small business as an Office Manager and have taken on book-keeping as part of my role! I have been book-keeping for just under 6 months, have no formal qualifications other than being organised!! I am hoping to underpin my learning with...	SamB	5	2383	Tue Jun 30 12:52 2020 by Rachel19
	Weekend Fun 27.6.20 (Preview) Blimey, half way through the year, which means only 20 sleeps to Christmas if you're an insomniac! Conjoined twins walk into a pub in Toronto and park themselves on a bar stool. One of them says to the bartender, 'Don't mind us, we're joined at the hip. I'm John, he's Jim. Two Molson Canadian beers plea...	Leger	0	2145	Sat Jun 27 15:20 2020 by Leger
	Weekend Fun 20.6.20 (Preview) Here we go folks I was in a taxi last week and tapped the driver gently on the shoulder. The driver screamed, lost control of the taxi, nearly hit a bus, drove up over the kerb and stopped just inches from a large plate window. For a few moments everything was silent. Then, the shaking driver said, "Are y...	Leger	3	1661	Mon Jun 22 12:02 2020 by Leger
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