Introductions and Time Out - The Book-keepers Forum (UK)

Leger · Leger

John just bought a new rifle and he couldn't wait to try it out. He decided he would try his hand at hunting bears.On his hunting trip, John spotted a small brown bear and shot it. A couple seconds after he shot, John felt a tap on his shoulder.He turned around to see a big black bear standing there. The blac...

Lorry10 · Lorry10

https://www.gov.uk/coronavirus-extremely-vulnerable-- Edited by Lorry10 on Tuesday 31st of March 2020 05:08:...

Leger · Leger

I have been approached by a potential new client, who is looking to claim the self employment grant. It looks like his profits are ok 2018/19 45k, 2017/18 48k and 2016/17 35k. Expenses are minimal. His income has pretty much dried up as most people are stopping at home, making it difficult for him t...

Cheshire · Cheshire

Increased to £45 from 1 April 2020 Was in plan, but pushed through due to COVID-19

Cheshire · Cheshire

In these difficult times have you considered applying for one of the many positions at any of the supermarkets or similar? I know this might sound random/crazy or something else, but if your business has shrunk so much that you can see you will be struggling soon or are already, seriously consider one...

Leger · Leger

Apologies, but the last 3 days have been absolutely hectic and I just haven't found the time to post. But, as they say, better late than never. The first one I heard many years ago, but one of my friends posted it this morning, and I still think it's very funny. A couple took in an 18-year-old girl as a lod...

rafapak · rafapak

Hi guys 1.Many educational videos appear day by day on youtube . I know nothing about modern technology I have to admit but I would like to start learning cause I like many videos I watch on youtube and would like to be able to make similiar videos one day. I heard about software that allows to you make a vid...

Leger · Leger

With the corona virus now affecting us a lot more how is everyone coping? I'm fine at the moment and it's pretty much business as usual, a couple of returns to get in before the end of March then I have the subbies coming up in April to look forward to, after that it's how quick other clients are going to want...

Leger · Leger

I was shocked at price of those Ancestry DNA kits. So rather than spend £130, I just announced that I had won the lottery.I soon found out who my relatives were! -- Viagra is now available in powder form for your tea. It doesn't enhance your sexual performance, but it does stop your biscuit going soft-...

Leger · Leger

The first one is hot off the press as I have literally just read it and it made me LOL Anyone want to buy 100 scotch eggs and 150 bite sized sausage rolls? I've misread the headlines and thought everyone was picnic buying -- My daft mate Dave has just got back from the loo after being in there for 30 minutes T...

Leger · Leger

Hi folks Two men are enjoying a nice Saturday afternoon of golf. After they finish the 12th hole, they see two women on the green of the 13th, putting the ball around with an apparent lack of skill. After watching the women fumble around for about 10 minutes, one of the men says, "I'm going to ask them if w...

Leger · Leger

Saw this the other day, and I think it's the best yet. A woman who was waiting for a bus was wearing a tight leather skirt.As the bus stopped and it was her turn to get on, she became aware that her skirt was too tight to allow her leg to come up to the height of the first step of the bus. Slightly embarrassed an...

Leger · Leger

The manager had a major issue and needed the Manager to come in to work urgently. He rand his house and a little girl answered.Feeling put out at the inconvenience of having to talk to a youngster the boss asked, "Is your Daddy home?"."Yes.", whispered the small voice.May I talk with him?", the man ask...

TopCat50 · TopCat50

New here, so just to introduce myself. I'm Tom, been a qualified accountant for over 10years. I've worked in various places, preparing mainly management accounts information and reviewing procedures & controls- perhaps not the usual tax/accounts type stuff you associate with an accoun...

Leger · Leger

There's not many Valentine jokes about, but I've just seen this one which made me smile. My girlfriend texted me this morning saying "Happy Valentines Day xxxxx" I texted back. "Happy Valentines day to you as well" She texted "You haven't put any x's on so I replied "Sorry, happy Valentines Day, Sar...

Stuartwantstoknow · Stuartwantstoknow

Hi All, I am a company director working in recruitment for 7 years. We are a family run company and I run the operations. I am now 3 months into a work based learning undergraduate degree in Accountancy and 5th year will be professional exams. Here for a bit of guidance when needed.

Leger · Leger

Sorry Guys & Ladyfolk, but been a hectic week and realised I hadn't done one. My son told me this today, which I found amusing. Eskimo Lad: What's for tea mum? Mum: Vera Lynn burgers. Lad: Oh no, not whale meat again! -- Several men are in the locker room of a golf club.A mobile phone on a bench start...

VinceH · VinceH

This is partly inspired by John's Digital Storage discussion - that, and what needs to be kept, along with knowing what must be on an invoice, etc, etc. I have before me an invoice from a supplier to one of my clients. It is a fairly normal looking invoice, with the top part showing the supplier and custom...

Leger · Leger

Here we go folks. My wife asked me what I was doing on the computer. "I'm looking for some cheap flights," I replied. "Oh that's great love" she said, all excited "Have you found any? I'll help you look." She usually isn't that interested in darts. --After thirty-five years of marriage, Bernie is lyin...

Leger · Leger

Yay, on time Been thinking, would people prefer just one thread, updated on a weekly basis, or a separate thread each week? The Seven Dwarfs go to the Vatican to see the Pope. Dopey leads the pack. "Dopey, my son," says the Pope, "what can I do for you?" Dopey asks, "Excuse me, Your Holiness, but are ther...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	Friday Fun 3.4.20 (Preview) John just bought a new rifle and he couldn't wait to try it out. He decided he would try his hand at hunting bears.On his hunting trip, John spotted a small brown bear and shot it. A couple seconds after he shot, John felt a tap on his shoulder.He turned around to see a big black bear standing there. The blac...	Leger	4	1659	Fri Apr 10 21:40 2020 by Leger
	Food Help for some people vulnerable to Covid-19 (Preview) https://www.gov.uk/coronavirus-extremely-vulnerable-- Edited by Lorry10 on Tuesday 31st of March 2020 05:08:...	Lorry10	5	4157	Thu Apr 2 14:04 2020 by Cheshire
	Potential new client - will he qualify for the self employed grant. (Preview) I have been approached by a potential new client, who is looking to claim the self employment grant. It looks like his profits are ok 2018/19 45k, 2017/18 48k and 2016/17 35k. Expenses are minimal. His income has pretty much dried up as most people are stopping at home, making it difficult for him t...	Leger	5	1461	Wed Apr 1 19:37 2020 by Leger
	Contactless limit increase (Preview) Increased to £45 from 1 April 2020 Was in plan, but pushed through due to COVID-19	Cheshire	4	1608	Wed Apr 1 12:21 2020 by Cheshire
	Want/need a job (Preview) In these difficult times have you considered applying for one of the many positions at any of the supermarkets or similar? I know this might sound random/crazy or something else, but if your business has shrunk so much that you can see you will be struggling soon or are already, seriously consider one...	Cheshire	4	1564	Tue Mar 31 10:05 2020 by Leger
	Friday Fun 27.3.20 (Preview) Apologies, but the last 3 days have been absolutely hectic and I just haven't found the time to post. But, as they say, better late than never. The first one I heard many years ago, but one of my friends posted it this morning, and I still think it's very funny. A couple took in an 18-year-old girl as a lod...	Leger	4	1348	Mon Mar 30 18:27 2020 by Cheshire
	How people make those videos? (Preview) Hi guys 1.Many educational videos appear day by day on youtube . I know nothing about modern technology I have to admit but I would like to start learning cause I like many videos I watch on youtube and would like to be able to make similiar videos one day. I heard about software that allows to you make a vid...	rafapak	5	1597	Mon Mar 30 17:46 2020 by Cheshire
	How is everyone doing? (Preview) With the corona virus now affecting us a lot more how is everyone coping? I'm fine at the moment and it's pretty much business as usual, a couple of returns to get in before the end of March then I have the subbies coming up in April to look forward to, after that it's how quick other clients are going to want...	Leger	29	2539	Mon Mar 30 17:09 2020 by Cheshire
	Friday Fun 20.3.20 (Preview) I was shocked at price of those Ancestry DNA kits. So rather than spend £130, I just announced that I had won the lottery.I soon found out who my relatives were! -- Viagra is now available in powder form for your tea. It doesn't enhance your sexual performance, but it does stop your biscuit going soft-...	Leger	6	1616	Wed Mar 25 09:39 2020 by Riel
	Friday Fun 13.3.20 (Preview) The first one is hot off the press as I have literally just read it and it made me LOL Anyone want to buy 100 scotch eggs and 150 bite sized sausage rolls? I've misread the headlines and thought everyone was picnic buying -- My daft mate Dave has just got back from the loo after being in there for 30 minutes T...	Leger	8	2076	Sun Mar 15 12:49 2020 by Cheshire
	Friday Fun 6.1.20 (Preview) Hi folks Two men are enjoying a nice Saturday afternoon of golf. After they finish the 12th hole, they see two women on the green of the 13th, putting the ball around with an apparent lack of skill. After watching the women fumble around for about 10 minutes, one of the men says, "I'm going to ask them if w...	Leger	10	2067	Wed Mar 11 10:19 2020 by Casu
	Friday Fun 28.2.20 (Preview) Saw this the other day, and I think it's the best yet. A woman who was waiting for a bus was wearing a tight leather skirt.As the bus stopped and it was her turn to get on, she became aware that her skirt was too tight to allow her leg to come up to the height of the first step of the bus. Slightly embarrassed an...	Leger	5	1464	Mon Mar 2 18:18 2020 by Cheshire
	Friday Fun 21.2.20 (Preview) The manager had a major issue and needed the Manager to come in to work urgently. He rand his house and a little girl answered.Feeling put out at the inconvenience of having to talk to a youngster the boss asked, "Is your Daddy home?"."Yes.", whispered the small voice.May I talk with him?", the man ask...	Leger	10	1970	Thu Feb 27 19:26 2020 by Cheshire
	Hello (Preview) New here, so just to introduce myself. I'm Tom, been a qualified accountant for over 10years. I've worked in various places, preparing mainly management accounts information and reviewing procedures & controls- perhaps not the usual tax/accounts type stuff you associate with an accoun...	TopCat50	2	1826	Sat Feb 22 14:49 2020 by Artois
	Friday Fun 14.1.20 (Preview) There's not many Valentine jokes about, but I've just seen this one which made me smile. My girlfriend texted me this morning saying "Happy Valentines Day xxxxx" I texted back. "Happy Valentines day to you as well" She texted "You haven't put any x's on so I replied "Sorry, happy Valentines Day, Sar...	Leger	6	1442	Tue Feb 18 16:13 2020 by Cheshire
	Hi All book-keepers (Preview) Hi All, I am a company director working in recruitment for 7 years. We are a family run company and I run the operations. I am now 3 months into a work based learning undergraduate degree in Accountancy and 5th year will be professional exams. Here for a bit of guidance when needed.	Stuartwantstoknow	3	1789	Tue Feb 11 20:53 2020 by Stuartwantstoknow
	Friday Fun 7.2.20 (Preview) Sorry Guys & Ladyfolk, but been a hectic week and realised I hadn't done one. My son told me this today, which I found amusing. Eskimo Lad: What's for tea mum? Mum: Vera Lynn burgers. Lad: Oh no, not whale meat again! -- Several men are in the locker room of a golf club.A mobile phone on a bench start...	Leger	5	1328	Mon Feb 10 15:28 2020 by Leger
	Those moments when you utter "FFS" ( 1 2 3 ) (Preview) This is partly inspired by John's Digital Storage discussion - that, and what needs to be kept, along with knowing what must be on an invoice, etc, etc. I have before me an invoice from a supplier to one of my clients. It is a fairly normal looking invoice, with the top part showing the supplier and custom...	VinceH	147	34202	Tue Feb 4 22:49 2020 by Cheshire
	Friday Fun 31.1.20 (Preview) Here we go folks. My wife asked me what I was doing on the computer. "I'm looking for some cheap flights," I replied. "Oh that's great love" she said, all excited "Have you found any? I'll help you look." She usually isn't that interested in darts. --After thirty-five years of marriage, Bernie is lyin...	Leger	7	1510	Sun Feb 2 11:07 2020 by Cheshire
	Friday Fun 24.1.20 (Preview) Yay, on time Been thinking, would people prefer just one thread, updated on a weekly basis, or a separate thread each week? The Seven Dwarfs go to the Vatican to see the Pope. Dopey leads the pack. "Dopey, my son," says the Pope, "what can I do for you?" Dopey asks, "Excuse me, Your Holiness, but are ther...	Leger	4	1399	Sun Jan 26 07:04 2020 by Artois
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